“This I choose to do.”

“This I choose to do.” Terry Pratchett puts those words into the mouth of Tiffany Aching, a young witch, in his book “Wintersmith”.

“This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do.” (Terry Pratchett, Wintersmith, p. 18/19)

These words have had a powerful impact on me when I first read them, and they still have. They have become my personal mantra, in big things and in small ones. Life is about choices. Choices like staying home with the kids, doing diapers and laundry and dishes – yes, and being with them while they grow, show them the world, show them the words, help those wonderful minds and souls unfold. But also little choices like what to put first on a normal weekday morning, a chore or a passion. Sometimes, when I am doing things that are boring or annoying, I remind myself. This I choose to do. I do it now. I could do something else, but I am doing this now for a reason. No one forces my hand, I could stop any second. But I choose to do it. And therefore there is no need to feel anger or boredom.

I am fully aware that there are a lot of things in life that we cannot choose – things that present themselves to us wether we like them or not. Life is full of moments that look like we do not have a choice at all.

But I do believe that there is always something we can choose: our reaction to these things. We might not be able to change the things themselves, but if we stand still for a moment we might realise that we are not really forced into reacting in a certain way, even if it feels like this. We can choose to get angry – or not. We can choose to be afraid  – or not.

I know this may seem impossible at times, and I am definitely not a master at doing this, quite to the contrary. Most of the times I still find myself reacting, instead of acting out of my own will. Find myself giving in to anger or fear or frustration. But sometimes, in the middle of these feelings, I come to a point where I can say “stop” to myself. And this really feels great. It gives me back the control I was afraid of loosing. It gives me back the power to decide want I want. It gives me back my choice.

So this blog is about choices, small ones and bigger ones. It is about things I choose to do or not to do. It is about things I see or hear or read that connect to the topic of choices (at least in my head). It is about the questions I ask myself sometimes (and maybe, hopefully, about some answers). There is also a section about books, simply because I love books and choose to share my favourite authors with anyone interested. 😉

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