Eye Trouble Continued – My endless story

Isn’t it ironic? Roughly two months ago I happily announced my blog anniversary, stating how much I like the whole blogging thing and that I would definitely go on.

A few days later my stupid eye injury raised its ugly head again, so I cut down on screen time. Obviously this blog is the first to feel it – I do rely on email for a lot of daily communication, but blogging is something that is not strictly necessary. As is reading books and writing … all the things I love to do. You can imagine my humour dropped.

November was not great, but December was worse. I spent a lot of time lying on the couch with my eyes closed. I managed to attend all the important pre-Christmas events at school (Christmas concerts, Christmas dinner for the children), we spent Christmas at the in-laws (saved me some cooking at least), but looking back now it all seems a blur.

It slowly got better and the last few days I started feeling like me again – the active me with plans and ideas, running up and down the stairs in my house (yep, we are back home again), tackling the chaos, shopping for groceries, that kind of stuff. I actually opened the book I got for Christmas from my mother-in-law, and yes, I dare look at the computer screen for more than a few minutes in a row.

And I stopped wearing my sun glasses in the house.

I had a chat with my eye-specialist (if you could call it a “chat”: I kept asking questions and he mumbled answers). We agreed to give it one more chance: four more weeks wearing that contact lens for protection, then take it off and see how it goes. If it turns bad again (with or without the lens), I will have another treatment, this time with a laser – apparently the success rate is much higher than with the one I had before, so fingers crossed. (Yes, of course: when I heard that I was thinking: why didn’t we do that in the first place then??? But it is a bit more expensive, and the insurance wants to try the cheaper one first, thank you very much.) If I interpret his mumbling correctly, my eye doctor thinks the cornea does look better and better, so maybe I have a chance to dodge another operation after all. We will see.

So hopefully it continues to go up from here – and I can start thinking and writing about other stuff again. And catch up with my reading… Just thinking of all the cool posts I have missed…. even if I only try to catch up with my four or five favourite blogs, this will mean a lot of work for my eye… But I will try to be patient, finish this post and then go offline again. Start the catching up tomorrow, maybe.

It is almost end of the year. Time to close a few not so nice chapters. Time to move on and concentrate on the nice things. There were a lot of those in 2014 too.



Happy Birthday, Blog!

One year ago – after having thought about it for quite a while – I decided to give blogging a try. In the beginning I felt rather shy about it. It took me ages to pick a theme and think of a name for my blog. I tinkered around a lot – not because I am such a perfectionist, but because I did not want to put anything online that looked ridiculous.

I have already mentioned why I started the blog: to give some thoughts a home. And that worked out well. My intitial goal was to post something once a week – no really strict goal, just an idea, a number in my head to prevent me from getting too lazy. After one year this now my 40th post – not a big number, but ok. Especially if you take into account my stupid eye trouble, which reduced my screen time quite a bit.

What took me by surprise was how much I enjoy reading other people’s blogs. I do not follow a lot of blogs regularily, but there are a few I really try to keep up with. It sort of clicked when I read the first posts (with others there was no click at all.) To feel touched by the lives of people you have no other connection with than via their blogs, is special. When I read about their lives, their worries and moments of happiness, I feel worried or happy too. I do care.

So, a big thank you to all of them who share their lives, who have shown me new facets of being. Some of their lives are completely different than the ones I am living, some share some lines. But all of them give me food for thought, a different perspective and sometimes a good laugh.


Writing a bit, reading a lot, thinking even more. All in all, this has been a good blog year.

Happy birthday, blog. I will keep coming here.

Posts that never make it

Most of my posts first get written into a small black notebook. A paper one. I scribble while I am waiting for the boys to finish their tennis or swimming lesson. I scribble when waiting at the doctor’s. I try to carry the black notebook with me whenever there might be a chance of some spare time. Pens are living in my bag anyway. At the end of the day, when Husband is away doing sports or we both feel like having a computer evening, I sit down and type it into the other notebook – the silvery electronic one. While doing that a lot of the sentences get re-phrases (made better, I hope), but the core of the thing stays the same. When finished, the draft in the notebook gets a tick. Done with it.

But some of them never get the tick. Some of them never make it online, they stay put in the little black book. Funnily enough, it still feels good to have them written down.

That was the original purpose of starting a blog: finding a home for some of the random thoughts that wander through my mind. Bundling them, putting them somewhere, so that they can stop turning up in my head again and again. Filed somewhere, so to say. I had written down stuff before, loose threads, but it never gave me the feeling of giving them a home. This blog is now their home, if they get read, that is fine, if not, well, so be it then. I am not kidding myself that the world has been waiting for my strange (or boring) ideas. There is a lot of everything already out there. But in my tiny corner of the web all of these thoughts can hop around, and somehow it feels good to give them a home there.

But back to the ones that stay in the book. Sometimes I write something – something that occupies my mind a lot at that moment – and I do not find the time to put it here. And then a couple of days pass, and I would have the time, but I think, hmmm. Should I really put this online? Somehow the need is gone. Maybe there are types of thoughts that prefer to be stuck in the little black book. They seem to be happy there.

(By the way, sometimes I also just sit down at the computer and start writing from scratch.)

(But yes, this post also originally was written down in the small book. Although I changed it around a lot. Sometimes it is easier to re-write it then trying to decipher my own handwriting.)

What was the point of all this?

No idea. Does everything have to have a point, always? (The answer might be yes, but I am not so sure.)

Maybe it is just something that wanted to be written down. In any case the process of writing made me kind of happy, which already would be some sort of point, right?

Good night.